An intimate and evocative memoir one woman’s experience with the universality of grief and the redemptive power of love as she endures her husband’s 84-day battle with lung cancer.
When Steph Catudal met her husband Rivs, she thought that the love, stability, and warmth she shared with her husband had finally dispelled her pent-up anger and grief over the loss of her father and her faith. But when Rivs became ill and was put into coma at the height of the pandemic, the painful memories of her childhood—watching her father die of cancer—came flooding back.
Written with lush lyricism, Steph’s account of how this crisis forced her to confront her past is raw, illuminating, and heartbreaking: her father’s death that wrecked her faith in God and jumpstarted a decade of rebellion, including running away from home and living out of a van at age 16, struggling with alcoholism, and delving into drugs to ease her pain. Sitting by Rivs's bedside, she grappled with the memories of the past and the uncertainties of the future while reckoning with the unknowns of her husband’s illness. Rivs would endure a grueling 84 days in a medically induced coma, eventually undergoing chemo for a similar illness that stole her father.
Like Cheryl Strayed’s Wild, and Michelle Zauner’s Crying in H Mart, Everything All At Once is a heart-wrenching and ultimately uplifting reflection on resilience and a powerful reminder that we can find healing no matter how broken we are.
Steph Catudal is the author of Everything All At Once, an adjunct professor in Media and Peacebuilding, and a trained interpersonal mediator. Born and raised in Montreal, Quebec, she is a beach nomad at heart, and lives with her husband and three daughters.
"A brilliant, unflinching, lyrical memoir about illness and grief and the intensity of being there for people and the memories it brings up. It’s a heart-wrenching book but is also healing in its raw truth. I loved it.” — Matt Haig, author of New York Times Bestseller The Midnight Library
“What a gorgeous work, from such an important mind. Every word of Steph’s writing is felt, in that shining place of hope we all somehow lose sight of. Few make words feel as revelatory and grounded in the gritty, natural truth of this life like she does.” — Tyler Knott Gregson, bestselling author of Chasers of Light
“Everything All At Once won't break your mortal heart, it will remind you that you have one.” — Alicia Cook, bestselling author of Stuff I’ve Been Feeling Lately and Sorry I Haven’t Texted You Back
“She writes movingly about the agony of knowing her girls may be bound for a loss like the one that once derailed her… your heart goes out to her.” — —New York Times Book Review
“A heart-wrenching, sincere memoir…” — Kirkus