A warm, funny, irresistible book that follows an improbable and life-changing college friendship over the course of forty years—from the best-selling author of The End of Your Life Book Club
"As funny, warm, brutally honest and entertaining as it is profound.” —Louise Penny, best-selling author of the Chief Inspector Gamache Mystery series
By the time Will Schwalbe was a junior at college, he had already met everyone he cared to know: the theater people, writers, visual artists and comp lit majors, and various other quirky characters including the handful of students who shared his own major, Latin and Greek. He also knew exactly who he wanted to avoid: the jocks. The jocks wore baseball caps and moved in packs, filling boisterous tables in the dining hall, and on the whole seemed to be another species entirely, one Will might encounter only at his own peril.
All this changed dramatically when Will collided with Chris Maxey, known to just about everyone as Maxey. Maxey was physically imposing, loud, and a star wrestler who was determined to become a Navy SEAL (where he would later serve for six years). Thanks to the strangely liberating circumstances of a little-known secret society at Yale, the two forged a bond that would become a mainstay of each other’s lives as they repeatedly lost and found each other and themselves in the years after graduation.
From New Haven to New York City, from Hong Kong and Panama to a remarkable school on an island in the Bahamas—through marriages and a divorce, triumphs and devastating losses—We Should Not Be Friends tracks an extraordinary friendship over decades of challenge and change. Schwalbe’s marvelous new work is, at its heart, a joyful testament to the miracle of human connection—and how if we can just get past our preconceptions, we may find some of our greatest friends.
About the Author
WILL SCHWALBE has worked in book publishing (currently as an editor at Macmillan); in digital media; and as a journalist, writing for various publications, including The New York Times and the South China Morning Post. He is the author of Books for Living, The End of Your Life Book Club, and coauthor, with David Shipley, of Send. He lives in New York.
"We Should Not Be Friends is as funny, warm, brutally honest and entertaining as it is profound. It's unlike any memoir I’ve ever read. Maxey and Schwalbe show us that our hearts are far bigger and more accommodating than we ever would have imagined.” —Louise Penny, best-selling author the Chief Inspector Armand Gamache novels
"One of the most important—and noble—human qualities is our ability to bond with people with whom we have absolutely nothing in common. It’s pure fraternal love, entirely for its own sake. Will Schwalbe has written a gorgeous book on exactly this topic . . . what a pleasure to read about a human trait that might one day save, rather than destroy, the human race.” —Sebastian Junger, best-selling author of The Perfect Storm
“In this searching, tender, insightful, and wise memoir, Will Schwalbe traces an altogether unlikely friendship through the triumphs and vicissitudes of adult life. Reading this beautifully written and generous book, you will find yourself thinking of your own friendships and the greatest gifts we can give one another: listening deeply and taking the risk of becoming — and offering — our true selves.” —Dani Shapiro, best-selling author of Inheritance