Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong (Hardcover)

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For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old."

Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.
The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way...
In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’”
Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.

About the Author

Steven Petrow is an award-winning journalist and author best known for his Washington Post and New York Times essays on aging, health, and cancer, which often appear on the "Most Read" lists. He's currently an Opinion Columnist for USA Today, a columnist to The Post, and a contributing writer The Times. Previously he penned The New York Times' "Civil Behavior" advice column and "Digital Dilemmas" for Parade magazine; his work has been published in Time, The Atlantic, Salon, the Daily Beast, the Los Angeles Times, and The Advocate. You've likely heard him on NPR's "All Things Considered Weekend," or one of your favorite TV networks. The most recent of his five books is Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners and his TED Talk, "3 Ways to Practice Civility," has garnered nearly two million views to date. He lives in Hillsborough, NC and can be found online at

Product Details
ISBN: 9780806541006
ISBN-10: 0806541008
Publisher: Citadel
Publication Date: June 29th, 2021
Pages: 272
Language: English